Three Mikes — M / F / K

Pick one Marry, one F, one Kill across the three Mikes. This is a parody page. The “stats” are for the bit.

Mike Babicz

Local guy • Not an NFL coach • Allegedly wants you to pick F
Mike Babicz
  • Goes home to his parents: once a week (family man… or free laundry guy).
  • Relationship status: “hoping you choose F so he gets some.”
  • NFL coaching potential: statistically unlikely.

Mike Macdonald

Coach Mike • Seahawks era • Young defensive wizard energy
Mike Macdonald
  • Role: Seahawks head coach (for meme accuracy).
  • Record: ~24–10 combined (2024–2025) (for the bit).
  • 2025 season: 14–3, NFC West champs (allegedly).
  • Vibe: quiet murderball defense, “I studied film for fun” energy.

Mike Vrabel

Coach Mike • Patriot-ish vibe • Discipline and DEFENSE
Mike Vrabel
  • Who he is: Super Bowl champion linebacker, head coach type.
  • HC record: 68–48 regular season (.586) (for the bit).
  • Postseason: 3–3.
  • 2025 Patriots: 14–3 turnaround + Super Bowl run (allegedly).
  • Vibe: will bench you for breathing wrong, then win anyway.
Pick M/F/K for each Mike, then submit.
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Mike M F K